"F-R-E-E...S-P-O-N-T-A-E-U-S"

OK....so we have to be "F-R-E-E and S-P-O-N-T-A-E-U-S" with our writing...sicne we're finishing up our blogs, but I'm still going to write on my blog, but different things and a few times a week...anyways, as we were talking in class it's hard to be spontaeus and free because we ALWAYS have things to do and we're always worried about what others will think. I honestly don't care what others think about me! I am, who I am and who I want to be. In class Mike asked me today, "why am I always so happy and energertic?" my answer was just because! I LOVE being in a good mood, who doesn't. Of course, just like everyone esle I have my bad days (such as yesterday, Tuesday, it was an off day!), but I always try to look on the bright side and not let everything bother me. When I'm in a good mood I get more done, my relationships are much better, and I JUST FEEL GREAT! When someone is in a good mood it's kind of conatigous. You get so much more out of life and out of the day! I feel I'm a better person when I'm energertic and in a good mood. I'm always energetic! It kind of goes with always being in a good mood. I LOVE helping people and just being "full-of-life". When you have a "ball-fo-energy" inside you, you can't help to spread it! It's fulfilling and fun! Such as today, in the SDC (Student Development Center) Jess Bergy & I were listening and singing to High School Musical 3 songs, of course and I left the room to ask Steve a question and to no surprise Chris Leporte goes to the computer and turns off the msuci! G-R-R-! I went to go bother him and he picked me up and threw me over his shoulders like, "a Dad does to his younger daughter". On top of the fact I was upside down I couldn't stop laughing then he threw me in the air at the cieling and I was still laughing. I could of fallen straight to the ground and seriosully gotten hurt, but I couldn't help, but laugh so hard my eyes were tearing. Loretta, Carol-Anne, Lean, & Mike were more nervous and afraid for me then I was! lol

2nd Draft "The Holidays"

the leaves are falling
channging colors
brown, red, orange, & yellow
birds flying south for the winter

pumkpin picking
carving pumpkins apple picking
climbing trees to reach those high ones

halloween costumes
haunted houses
trick-or-treating

thanksgiving
football game
10-course meals
turkey!

the next day
BIGGEST SHOPPING OF THE YEAR
everyone singing Christmas songs
trying to find the "right" gift

meeting Santa
writing your Christmas list
"good" or "naughty" list

decorating & haning up Christmas lights
hot chocolate to keep you warm
Christmas parties

let kids counting down the days
until C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S-!

"The Holidays"

the leaves are falling
channging colors
brown, red, orange, & yellow
birds flying south for the winter

pumkpin picking
carving pumpkins
apple picking
climbing trees to reach those high ones

halloween costumes
haunted houses
trick-or-treating

thanksgiving
football game
10-course meals
turkey!

the next day
BIGGEST SHOPPING OF THE YEAR
everyone singing Christmas songs
trying to find the "right" gift
meeting Santa

HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3

On Friday October 24th I saw High School Musical 3 in theatres the day it came out of course because anyone who knows me...knows I'm OBSESSED!
I saw HSM 3 with Bruce, Sarah, & Sarah's friend Pam. I really liked the movie, but was a little disappointed. I think it was a little to cocky for it's own good. Such as during the first song "Now or Never" they were playing a basketball game for the championships and all of a sudden Troy (Zac Efron) just started singing out of nowhere! unrealistic! There were several incidents during the movie that this kind of "thing" occured. I LOVED THE MUSIC & DANCING! IT WAS PHENOMINAL! If the movie didn't have as many cocky situations in the movie it would of been the BEST! Part of it could be I'm a little older now and notice it more...who knows...? Other then that I really enjoyed it. I like ow High School Musical 1, 2, and 3 brought back musicals to our (my) generation since Grease 1 and 2.

2ND DRAFT of "A Time Of..."

summer of '08
pool side days
laying in the sun
going to the beach

late nights
hanging out
carefree world
cute guys
drama-free days

no dress-code
tee-shirts & shorts
bbq's & pool parties
day trips
Hamptoms to NJ Shore

Labor Day brings it to an end...
school year '08-'09
here we come

The Forest

a girl was walking all alone in the forest near her house
she was distracted by what she was thinking about
her mind was racing...she had so much on her plate
being involved in cluds, keeping a high enough GPA, having a boyfriend, & etc..
if you knew her you would know she was always happy & smiling and never would of thought about just jumping in the river & drowning
She was very stressed, but didn't know who to talk to or what to do
she tried to pretend everything was ok...but it wasn't
she decided the hell with everything and jumped into the river
she was NEVER FOUND! All her parents found were her flip-flops...

"If you dream it, you can do it."

"If you dream it, you can do it."
-Walt Disney

Walt Disney's quote, "If you dream it, you can do it" is one of my favorite because if we out on our mind to it we can do A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G! Many people especially nowadays give-up to easily. If they don't get it on the first or second try they give-up. That's not how it works! Even though we'll fail or get turned down several times we have to keep going. That's what makes it so much more rewarding! When we finally reach our dream & goal its a GREAT FEELING! The higher we set our goals the higher our dreams go and the more determined we are. (or should be) If everyone just gave up on the first or second time we wouldn't have much today! We must always try hard, reach for the stars, and kn ow if we dream about it we CAN DO IT!

Inner-self

always bubbly on the outside
even if in a bad mood, usually never shows
sometimes I'm overwhelmed & stressed no ones
I hide what I don't want anyone to see
I don't like crying in front of anyone
sometimes I just want to scream on top of my lungs
& never can do that
people are always saying the negatives and never the positives
people need to be more optimistic
everyone always dwells on the worst case-scenario
if we're optimistic we can do so much more!

Uncensored-Free

happy
excited
wondering if I should have a snack
tired
can't wait to sleep
gotta shower
it's windy outside
1 month anniversary
3 DAYS until High School Musical 3!
a little stressed
MSG office hour
tomorrow's schedule
work
it feels like these blogs are never-ending
pictures
BRUCE<33
the girls :)
Halloween costumes
Tinkerbell & Peter Pan
city
holidays coming up I
ITALY
19 credits Spring Semester
advisement
classes
"phony" people
just ate Tommy's cookie dough
family
friends
don't know what to do next
the next 4 years
LIFE in general

Switzerland & Italy Trip February 2008

One of the best trips I EVER went on was to Switzerland & Italy with my high school. I went with then all of my bff's. Some of us are still friends, but times changed. Anyway, we did so much! Over our winter break of senior year we left on February 14th, Valentine's Day. I was SOOOO EXCITED!!!! I counted down months, weeks, days, hour, & minutes just until we left school. Our flight from JFK to Switzerland was about 9 hours. It was VERY LONG! We landed 7:00 am Switzerland time, since there was a 6 hour time difference therefore, it was 1:00 am in New York. It was a whole new day. We were in Switzerland for 2 days. On the second day we went on top of Mount Pilatus. It was BREATH-TAKING, literally & figuratively. We went to Church there also and it was in German, just a little hard to understand, but it was interesting to see how Mass was done in Europe. Right before Mass all of us were near the Lake (Lake Lucerne) and we were looking at the ducks. There were steps to go right into the lake if u wanted to. We walked in a few & we stopped at the step right before and the ducks cam so close they almost attacked us and were attacking each other! When we went to Italy we went to Verona, Venice, Florence, Assisi, Pisa, Rome, & drove threw many cities such as Milan & Tuscany. While we were in Venice we saw a glass show. The Murano Glass Factory is very popular in Venice and we saw how they make the glass. When we were in Florence we saw the infamous "David Statue" and various museums. When we were in Assisi we walked & explored a medieval & "haunted" castle. While we were in Rome we saw and went inside the Coliseum. Also, we went to the Vatican. I went all the way to the TOP of the Vatican the view was ASTONISHING! We saw many museums while we were in Europe for the 10 days. Our last night in Rome (our last night of the trip) we went out for a really nice Italian dinner with music & entertainment. We went to the Spanish Steps & The Trevi Fountain. While at the Trevi Fountain we all got gelatto and my friends and i looked for the gelatto shop that Hilary Duff went to when they filmed "The Lizzie McGuire Movie". THE TRIP WAS UNFORGETTABLE! I HAD SO MUCH FUN! I WILL NEVER FORGET THE MEMORIES THAT WERE MADE ON THAT TRIP!

Bob Dylan in "poetic form"

Raspy voice
takes away some of the enjoyment
lyrics w/much meaning, hard to understand
can't understand the meaning of some songs because I wasn't born
listening & reading the lyrics gives me an idea what was going on
the lyrics were magnificent, but how do we know they're true?
Bob Dylan write a lot about war & the hard times
He had several different sides to him
everyone liked him for different reasons
there were "different" personalities he had of him-self
each representing completely different "people"

2nd DRAFT

a girl was walking on the beach by her-self around 12:00 midnight
the beach was really dark she could barely see her 2 feet in front of her
she enjoyed the quite and time alone because she had so much on her mind
school, work, family, friends, boyfriend, change , and the FUTURE
everyone knew her as an energetic, fun-loving girl, always willing to help, always smiling, but on the inside she was another person, she hated who she was, she thought she was putting on an "act", she was very overwhelmed
she just wanted to break-down and let it all out, she left as if she was losing control and would NEVER gain it back again!
her best friend went away to school and she was having a tough time adjusting from the transition from high school to college
her and her boyfriend were on and off all summer and she couldn't take it any more..she found out after graduation her boyfriend was cheating on her and he apologized and she accepted it and it went back and forth all summer long until that night she ended it!
all she wanted to was go back in time and hit the "pause" button
she was sitting on the sand of the beach and where the water could reach her feet
she decided she HAD ENOUGH...!
she screamed as loud as she could several times and the end result of that was her crying...
after sitting their she decided she wanted to END IT ALL!
she jumped into the water and ENDED IT ALL THERE
her parents were worried when she didn't come...
around 3:00 am her parents went looking for her and couldn't find her
they called her name...no response
they found her shirt soaking wet on the shore
they called the police IMMEDIATELY!
they searched the beach all night and the next day
they had search dogs all over the beach and police on boats looking for a young 18 year old girl
about 6:00 pm that day they found her body come up on the shore!
the police checked out the body and discovered she committed suicide!

"A Time Of..."

summer days have come & gone
days just laying by the pool & on the beach
seemed so long ago
staying up all night & sleeping all day
having pool parties & bbqs
not having to worry about studying for a test or writing a paper
taking sudden road trips to the Hampton's & the Jersey Shore
day dreaming of the cute guy on the beach
calling friends up and saying lets go out on a suddens notice
not worrying about what to wear to school
shorts, t-shirts, & bikini's all summer long
having camp fires & singing sing-a-longs
starting to realize you weren't going to be in the same school any more, and some of your best friends were dorming...they wouldn't be in your lunch or homeroom any more
trying to capture the last few weeks until Christmas break when everyone would be home again just like it used to be
except when you walked into almost ANY store in the 2nd week of July there were school supplies...EVERYWHERE!
as Labor Day weekend came everyone realized the summer was over :(
here comes another school year...

The girl who walked along the beach and was NEVER seen AGAIN!

a girl was walking on the beach by her-self around 12:00 midnight
the beach was really dark she could barely see her 2 feet in front of her
she enjoyed the quite and time alone because she had so much on her mind
school, work, family, friends, boyfriend, change , and the future
her best friend went away to school and she was having a tough time adjusting from the transition from high school to college
her and her boyfriend were on and off all summer and she couldn't take it any more
all she wanted to was go back in time and hit the "pause" button
she was sitting on the sand of the beach and where the water could reach her feet
she decided she HAD ENOUGH...!
she screamed as loud as she could several times and the end result of that was her crying...
after sitting their she decided she wanted to END IT ALL!
she jumped into the water and ENDED IT ALL THERE
her parents were worried when she didn't come...
around 3:00 am were parents went looking for her and couldn't find her
they called her name...no response
they found her shirt soaking wet on the shore
they called the police IMMEDIATELY!
they searched the beach all night and the next day
they had search dogs all over the beach and police on boats looking for a young 18 year old girl
about 6:00 pm that day they found her body come up on the shore!
the police checked out the body and discovered she committed suicide!

Me in a tree-Apple Picking-Warwick, NY

My Mom, 4 brothers, and me went to Maskers Apple Orchard in Warwick (upstate NY). Today was my Mom's birthday so we went apple picking & etc.

The HORROR Dream

When I'd fall asleep at night I would have wonderful dreams
not when I go to sleep I have HORRIBLE NIGHTMARES!
I try not to sleep at night to avoid the awful nightmares, but that's controllable
I;ve noticed even during the day now when I;m wide awake I'm having these horrible vivid dreams
I can't get ride of them
the harder I try, the worse they are
I see you chasing me with a sledge-hammer
as I continue to run faster you keep gaining speed
eventually I just give up and you GET ME!
I WAKE UP! wanting to jump out of my skin!
I can't take it any more, waking up all raddled and in tears
I'm afraid to do anything because I can't tel lthe difference any more if it's real or in my dreams?...

As I walk through the dark alley by my-self on a cold wintry night
I see a shadow following me, I look behind me and no one's there
I feel someone behind,but looked again to find on one
I start running down the alley and hear footsteps running behind me
I start breathing heavily and running out of breathe
wondering when s he going to stop following
he's gaining speed and reaches out to grab my arm
i keep running 'till i fall to the ground and slip on ice
he slipped on the ice and fell on top of me
I tried squirming away and he reaches for my leg
I try pulling away and he pulled on my leg harder
i finally gained some strengthen to run further
he caught me again and threw me to the floor
I passed out!
I woke up in the ambulance, disorientated and confused
wondering what just happened...
I still don't know what happened?!....

BLACKED OUT!

I look out my window & see you standing there
I think it's a dream, but every time I look you're still there
I run away from my window and feel like you're chasing me
As I run faster & faster I feel you're gaining speed
I can't run any more, out of breathe, I fell to the floor
I wake up in a hospital bed wondering what happened?
everyone looking over my bed, asking me "Am I alright?"

How do you know...L-O-V-E-?

How do you know when you're in love?
How do you know he's the "RIGHT" one for you?
that you're not making a mistake?

"A Time Of..."

You moved out at such a young age
you come over and visit and I would block the door so you couldn't leave
I didn't know why you never stayed any more
when you would "show-up" I would run over to you, but what did I know at the age of 6
I would throw tantrums when you were suppose to leave
listening to you yell & scream I covered my ears and hide under the table hiding from the noise
I WAS suppose to look up to you, but you were NEVER there more than an hour and a half, maybe once or twice
you couldn't even keep the promise of coming to visit
I expected so much and got so little from you...

Unspeakable

When you walk by me, my heart starts pounding as if a pile of bricks are falling
once you're in my mind I can't get you out of my mind just like my Disney vacation
looking back at pictures I can't flip the photo album past the page of you & me
when I hear your name, and it's not even you I freeze, as if I'm an iceberg
you left such an imprint on me it'll never decay

Bob Dylan's Music

The first time I remember hearing about Bob Dylan was when 1 of my friends and I were going to "Adventures in Learning", a Campus Ministry activity. Since there weren't many students who went that day we didn't take the school van or bus. The teacher, Mr. McDermott, drove us to the school in his car and I remember when I went to go sit down there was this HUGE book of BOB DYLAN LYRICS. Along with the book of lyrics, 1 of CDs was playing in the car. Ever since then whenever I think of Bob Dylan I think of that day. Anyways, I'm not a BIG fan of Bob Dylan because of his voice, but as I was reading the lyrics and listening to the music the lyrics are amazing! If you focus just on the lyrics you kind of "tune out" his raspy voice. I also enjoyed his electric band better then his acoustic days. While I was reading the lyrics I realized I could relate to some of the situations, but also even though some of them were geared back to the 60s and 70s, I was able to understand what was going on during that time period. One of my favorite songs is "Forever Young" from 1973 because it reminds us of some of the positives such as, "may your wishes come true". We should always try our best. If we don't "aim for the stars" we'll only get half-way to where we want to go. If we aim as high as possible everything is possible! One of my favorite 2 lines from "Lay Lady Lay", 1969 is "Why wait any longer for the one you love, when he's standing in front of you." I think these 2 lines means to take chances and don't give up an opportunity and don't be afraid. IF we don't take chances we'll NEVER know what "would of, could of, should of" happened. I'm not a huge fan of changes, but for the most part they've always worked out for me even when I didn't think it would work out!

A Promise

I counted on you to be there
You promised you would be at my dance recital, but didn't show
You said "I promise, I'll be home", but you weren't
You promised everything will be normal, but they weren't
You promised you would always be there
You made so many promises and never came through on ANY of them!
Why should I believe anything you say when you can't keep 1 promise?!